"In the context of these influences, what allows women to become free of concerns about the reactions they or their work will provoke? I’ve found that the fundamental shift for women happens when we internalize the fact that all substantive work brings both praise and criticism. Many women carry the unconscious belief that good work will be met mostly — if not exclusively — with praise. Yet in our careers, the terrain is very different: Distinctive work, innovative thinking and controversial decisions garner supporters and critics, especially for women. We need to retrain our minds to expect and accept this."
"I know for a fact that it occurs to at least some of us. You know who we are. We obsessively followed the reports from Ferguson, and would, no question, tell a pollster that we believe the criminal justice system is biased against people of color. We’re white girls who make jokes about “white girls,” as if this category does not include us. We are proud to say we live in diverse cities — not the anodyne suburban enclaves and small towns of our upbringing. Yet our friends are mostly white. And we don’t feel great about it. Which raises a very thorny question: Should we actively try to make more friends who aren’t white? And if so, how?"
I do mind the gap.
Closing a gender gap for the sake of closing the gap is going about it all backwards. Usually gaps are symptomatic of other problems. It isimportant to interrogate why a gap exists, and address that problem. I don’t think you can argue that women are naturally less interested in cycling or video games or weed than men are—our choices are shaped by the culture and society we live in. That society is pretty sexist! If video games are made for and marketed exclusively to heterosexual men, and women aren’t as interested as men in those games, the problem is that a major corner of the entertainment industry is in sexism-fueled denial about its potential customer base. If women aren’t cycling to work because they are unwilling to put up with the harassment they get when they’re riding a bike, the problem is that women don’t feel safe in public spaces.It doesn’t make sense for most “gender gap” stories to simply encourage women to close the gap for the sake of closing it. Usually, individual women’s actions are not enough to change the problem that created the gap. We all know that the most famous gap, the one between women’s wages and men’s, is one that women cannot simply rise up and close on their own by demanding higher wages, no matter what Sheryl Sandberg says. If only.
"He always made me feel like I was better than I thought I was. He was so confident in his own ability that he never regarded me as any kind of threat." Ruth & Marty forever.
Yes, I am still interested in that Zeppelin shirt. Yes, I do love casseroles.